Welcome to Kaiser’s World….

It’s kinda becoming an addictive thing, this blogging. Well, just trying to satisfy my consistency in this "blogging" thingy. hehe!

A pretty productive day, and a busy week ahead, I am again faced with various challenges that i must step up and boldly face … ain’t this nice? for a moment in a day, you can write something freely with all the "I’s" in a consolidated group of text, kinda self centered, but this is really good for the human soul, hehe…Like in the words of Al Pacino, said in my all time favorite movie, The Devil’s Advocate, "Vanity, is my favorite sin…"

Ok, enough of that Philosophical crap, lets get on with the blog …. Futsal today was so-so, scored a couple of goals, also, i gashed my already wounded wound, now bleeding like there is no tomorrow, hope it gets well  by Sunday,
need to play again, plans for Saturday, hmm… visit a manufacturing plant, practice football, watch football, iron clothes, clean room, hmmm….watch football again… go to work again, play football again, wow… life here is so fun, what happens when football was taken out from the equation of my life?? Oh my Golly, what would happen to my world?? If my bestest of best pals, Sean, would be reading this blog, I’ll ask him, "dude, can we actually live without football??"

Its a tougher question to answer than confessing to the crush of your life that you like her, at least, when you tell your crush you like her, that is it, end of story, whatever happens, let it be God’s will, but football…. if it were to be stripped off my systems…i would go berserk, ahh~~!! I don’t want to imagine!! It’s too much of a horrifying thought!!

Why the passion in football? Because, when love was gone, football was there, when i needed attention, football was there, when i needed to release my grudge and anger so that i would not be so stressed because being stressed is not good for the health, football was there, when i needed to be cool, football was there, when i didnt have friends, football was there, when the whole world hated me, football was there. and the list goes on, because, football was there… a new found passion or religion? hahaha! you decide….

**Attention to all blog readers who are American English influenced, the "Football" i am pertaining to right here is the football that you use your foot, head, or any part of the body except your hands(please take note that according to FIFA ruling, "hands" would be from shoulder level down straight pass your arms to your hands.). I repeat, "IT IS NOT AMERICAN FOOTBALL" that is for the wussies, Rugby is more hardcore, they should call it AMERICAN RUGBY instead of football. The name "football" belongs to its orginal family, Association Football, the sport that is loved by Billions around the world.**

Moving on, oh, i didnt notice i wrote so much, wow, its sprawling over me…the BLOG ADDICTION~~~! Better…stop…so drama lah!! Ok, its very early in the morning already, and i have responsibilites to attend to when the living souls from part of my world activates upon the rising of the sun…

Ahh…football, you’re irreplacable…hahaha! =)

I’m not really into blogging, but since its the new year, ah…what the heck! You can consider this as my first blog, hopefully not the last, I’m writing this blog after a dissapointing futsal game, where we lost all the games we played, and myself gaining painful surface wounds on both my knees, ouch! On top of that, Man Utd blew the greatest chance to pull away from Chelsea in terms of points in the EPL, drawing 2-2 with Newcastle.

Oh well, what else could come next? But the main reason why I wanted to write this blog is because like everyone else, have so much to say and just want to broadcast it to the whole wide web (WWW). A bit of warning, the things I write may be confusing for some, but to others, they may think its as shallow as whatever they can think of.

"The way of the cruel world as some may call it, puts a living person onto a spot where he/she needs to react in order to survive the harshness it brings, in simpler terms, i think its called survival."  I may or may not be making sense, but looking at how things are going, it is the "root of all evil" that is doing all the talking. From Love, Family, Comfort and so much more. We live for it and surely can’t live without it. Evil as it is, it makes a man with not much unable to express his feelings to someone because that someone sees him as uncapable to provide the necessary  object the runs the living world, the "root of all evil".

Some do get lucky, unless they are genetically gifted with a well sclupted physical enbodiment, they usually get it their way without even asking for it. As for the masses who struggle to get into the spotlight of life, the fight is long and hard, only by obtaining the "root of all evil" they may cover the inperfection that they were given, and sometimes, not all the time, they normally get it their way.

But as objective or materialistic it may sound, some do say it is not all the "root of all evil" that runs the factor of the human heart, but hello? Look around, there may a speckle of fairy dust of rare romantic tales that actually happen in real life, but chances are, a ratio of 1 : (to the total population of the world??) I’m not skeptic, just realistic, A brutal and honest truth about someone liking someone nowadays is just not so simple anymore, you will like a person but the person may not like you, or you may get the person who you don’t like but is head over heels over you.

But what comes in as an edge? I believe in all honesty, "the root of all evil". Simple as that. You may say, come on, is not all like that? But looking at it in a deeper perspective, animals need to survive, humans are animals, survival is the key, they go into life as a more self sustaining rather than a ecology of sustaining each other, I’d love someone to prove me wrong, and tell me why more and more people prefer to live a life for themselves, rather than having a family like how easy it was before in the early days. The times have changed? Bah! its all bullshit! Time doesnt even exist!

They prefer to have "the root of all evil" to themselves, unless they can find a superior homo sapien who can provide more of what is enough to sustain first themselves, then maybe, think of giving it to a newer member.

Ah… I feel sorry for those who are victims of this cruel system (myself included), but hopefully the miracle of the human spirit may prove me wrong,  that the world, that human interactions and relationships is not controlled by this "root of all evil", besides, without the "root of all evil", how can there be "a root for the good"? These things need to work in balance, and also, we always get the good stuff once attaining "it", hehehe!

Hay …. life, such a beauty, there goes my first blog, its never meant to be perfect, that is what its for!

Emotions stir, feelings blur,
not sure, you become insecure,
the answer expected found in an open book,
you know, but you ignore, take a risk,
come what way, so they say.

You await the sunrise everyday,
to get a precious short glimpse,
hoping for your eyes to meet.
to get a chance to speak,
then u find your day complete.

A rare chance,
face to face,
your mind and heart shouts,
but your mouth won’t speak,
true feelings you long to seek,
a key to a love in a cage,
that longs to be set free.

But shes a queen,
though you wish to be her king,
you’re but a pauper,
you distance yourself as you see it proper,
but a blinding force draws you nearer,
even if the consequence is clear,
that a pauper and a queen,
is just not meant to be.

Itong article ay gawa ng aking mabuting kaibigan si Rhian noong 2003 pa, gusto lang po nya ipahayag ang kanyang damdamin na malamang nararamdaman din ng mga ibang tao sa buong mundo, i-ppost ko itong article on behalf of him. Copyright po lahat ito..hehe! =)

Grabe, mahirap pala talagang ma in love.  Nakakabaliw, nakakapraning, mahiwaga, nakakakilig, masaya, minsan mahirap at malungkot, pero minsan mas lalong mahirap mas lalong malungkot.

Naaalala mo pa ba nung time na puro ka pag papa cute sa crush mo?  Yung time na nalaman mo ang tunay na meaning at kahalagahan ng salitang “conscious” at “vain”, na lahat na lang ng madaanan mong salamin kahit tinted na kotse e tinitignan mo sarili mo? Pero dati hindi ka naman ganon, o kung ganon ka na dati palagay ko mas lumala pa. 

Bakit ba gustong-gusto mo siyang laging makita at lagi ka na lang napapasabi ng “haay tamlay” sa tuwing siya’y dadaan at ika’y makakasilay?  Nakakabaliw ba?

Diba’t nayayamot ka pa nga kase feeling mo ang gwapo/ganda mo nung araw na iyon tapos hindi mo man lang siya nakita para magpa cute?  Kulang ang araw mo pagkatapos nun ano?  Nakakapraning ba?

E nung nakilala mo na siya??? Edi mas masaya na di ba?  Aba! Lalo na siguro nung close na kayo?  Diba’t mukha ka ng buntot?  Kung nasaan siya nandun ka, inaalam mo pa kung san gimik niya at parang gusto mo pa laging sumama.  Teka imbitado ka ba?

Ginagamit mo pa ang kaibigan mong matalik sa mga modus operandi mo.  Ingat ka lang kay best friend at baka apo ni Satanas yan.

Ngayon kung medyo close na kayo, e kakayod ka na nyan.  Daig mo pa ang mga multo sa film center kung magpaparamdam, ang mga mahihiwaga mong teks sa selpon ay parang engkanto sa kagubatan, walang sinabi sayo ang The Buzz at TV Patrol sa paghahagilap ng mga tsismis at balita.  Tila ka gwardya sibil kung magbantay at parang cancer kung sumalakay, dahan dahan pero epektib.  Mahiwaga ba?

Dahil inaraw-araw mo siya, at di ka pa nga nakuntento ginabi-gabi mo pa, nagbunga din ang pagsusumikap mo.  Hindi ka pa naman nanliligaw pero pakiramdam mo eh parehas din kayo ng nararamdaman, M.U nga sabi nila.  Tila ka pa batang pumipitas ng bulaklak at nag “she loves me – she loves me not ka pa”  pero pag natapat sa she loves me not gagawin mo namang she loves me. Lokohan na ito….. Nakakakilig ba?

HALA! Hayan na!! Humahaba na buhok mo sa sobrang kilig.  Diba’t ang sarap isipin yung mga araw na parang puso na lang ang internal organ mo?  Tumatamis ang ampalaya pag siya ka lunch mo. Lahat ng sinasabi niya tagos sa puso mo, diretso sa utak pati sa ugat.  Dahilan ng pakiramdam na hindi mo maipaliwanag kaya’y naging sanhi ng araw-araw na pagpupursige sa gym upang lumaki ang katawang tila suman sa bilbil.  Masaya ba?

Mga teks na “wer u”, “cno ksama mo”, “please reply” ang mga pahiwatig ng pagka miss, pagseselos, at pagiging buwaya sa pag-ibig, na naging dahilan ng gabi-gabi mong pagpupuyat, pagdami ng tigyawat, at madalas mong pagkakasakit.  Mahirap at malungkot ba? Baka may mas mahirap at mas malungkot pa dyan?

Kaya teka, teka, naitanong mo na ba kung bagay kayo sa isat-isa?  Baka feeling nyo lang?  Tol, pano kung mayaman siya mahirap ka? Skwater ka may sariling Condo siya? Imported lahi niya tapos native ka? E kung naging mas bata ka pa sa kanya ng mahigit 5 taon?  Hindi kaya siya pa ang bumuhay sa iyo?

Oo nga alam ko sasabihin mo ayos lang bastat mahal ninyo ang isa’t isa.  Pero hindi rin tsong, siguro kung ikaw ang babae ayos lang e kaso kung lalake ka?

Pakiramdam mo ang swerte mo kung siya makatuluyan mo, e siya kaya swertihin sayo?  Sasaya din syempre ang pamilya mo, e ang pamilya niya masaya kaya?

Alam ko namang GF ang hanap mo hindi Syota, alam ko din na gusto mong ikaw ang masusunod at magdadala ng relasyon kaso kung bundok at pigsa ang pagitan ninyo e pano na yan?  Ano? Edi napa-isip ka ngayon?

O bat nagdadalawang isip ka ngayon kung liligawan mo siya o hindi?  Ligawan mo na kasi ng malaman mo at hindi ka tanong ng tanong.  Ano kamo? Maghihintay ka pa na umasenso sa buhay bago mo siya ligawan?  Aba baka wala ka nang maabutan?

Kawawa ka naman, kaya bago pa lumala ito….. ititigil ko na tong kwentong ito.  Kaya itigil mo na din ang pangangarap sa babaeng hindi naman para sayo.  Alam ko sobrang mahal mo na siya, at baka mahal ka na rin niya.  Pero kung mahal mo talaga siya, iisipin mo naman ang makakabuti sa kanya. 

Walang pinagkaiba yan sa pag mamahal ng isang magulang na nag abroad para lang buhayin ang kanyang pamilya.  Kahit masakit mawalay sa mga mahal sa buhay, gagawin ng magulang para sa ikabubuti ng pamilya.

At saka sabi mo naman magsusumikap ka saka mo siya babalikan diba?  Pero hihintayin ka ba naman niya?  Saka sigurado ka bang aasenso ka?  Matulog ka na lang, magpakasal na lang kayo sa panaginip ng magkatotoo naman ang mga pangarap mo….  Ibaling mo na lang sa iba yang nararamdaman mo, napakaraming babaeng para sayo, bat mo pinagsisiksikan sarili mo dyan…….

At siya nga pala, bago mo muna pala pag isipan yang mga bagay na gumugulo sa isip mo eh makipag ayos ka muna sa GF mo, baka mahal mo pa rin siya… Ang hirap sayo manliligaw ka na sa iba may GF ka pa…

Ganyan lang talaga ang buhay at alam kong may mas hihirap pa diyan.  Pero mahirap ba talagang magmahal? Hindi naman siguro… konti lang, as in konting konti lang talaga…….. konting sarap, konting saya, konting kilig, konting tawa, kokonti lang talaga…. Kaya hindi talaga mahirap magmahal…………………..kase………sobrang hirap lang!

Wow…this is totally true about me!, good thing i got an average! That’s what u get for being too much of a gentleman! hahaha!! =P

Your dating skills are AVERAGE! You scored a 65 out of a possible 100 points.

You’re pretty good with the ladies, but you can be intimidated by a woman who is exceptionally attractive. There are some women out there that you consider to be “out of your league”. Sometimes when you see a woman you’d like to approach you become immobilized with fear, and by the time you figure out what to say, she’s gone… There have probably been several times in your life when a woman lost interest in you, and you just couldn’t figure out why. Maybe she gave you her phone number and then didn’t return your calls, or maybe you went out on a few dates with her and things seemed to be going good, when all of a sudden she became mysteriously unavailable. You might wonder why some of the women you are attracted to don’t feel the same way, when all of your female friends tell you how lucky any girl would be to have you… These are problems that almost all guys run into at one time or another, but very few men know exactly what to do to prevent these things from happening in the first place. These are problems that many guys have, but very few know how to actually solve. The good news is that you can learn to attract these exceptional women… and even have them chasing you for dates!

I may not be a poet,
and my words may be shallow,
but what i write comes from a heart,
who is true to what it feels,
and knows it is honest and real.

I’m not here to scare you off,
more so not here to make you feel uncomfortable,
but if the truth is what you fear,
then there is nothing i can do,
for i fear too, the truth that will come from you.

I may have the worst first impression to you,
you may not like the way i move, talk, or look,
but as an ordinary guy,
i have feelings i need to confess,
because basically, i am human.

I let the man in me do the talking,
to a girl i like who may not be hearing,
hoping that a glimmer of hope,
may be enough to lit a dark path i’m passing,
the one that is just right in front of my eyes.

And if this path i choose shall falter,
I have no remorse over my actions,
To say "i like you" to a girl like you,
words said so simple but it follows complications,
and why so? i do not know.

It maybe a part of a certain mystery,
that plays the role in the beautiful stage of human emotions,
that brings so much to who we are,
a majestic fabric of life that gives us the purpose to breathe,
Just i am wrting this to you,
To say something from the heart, but just cannot do.

Hikarabita kotoba wo tsunaide
> i put together dried up words..
—
soredemo boku no shinpuru na omoi wo tsutaetai dakenano..
> but all i want to do is convey my simple feelings to you..
—
fukinukeru kusunda ano hi no kaze wa…
> the blackish wind that blew from that day…
—-
kinou no haikyo ni uchisutete kimi to warau ima wo ikirunoda
> i threw it away in yesterdays ruins, so i can live today with you with a smile..
—
soredemo kono dekigotoga kimi wo kurushimeru darou…
> But still this incident that happened might hurt you…
—
dakarakoso sayonara nanda
> and so that’s why we have to say goodbye…
—
konomama nani mo nokorazu ni anatato wakachi audake…
> Now we just try to understand each other until nothing remains…
—
yagate bokurawa sorega subetedato kigasuite…
> And eventually, we will find out that is everything to us…
—
kanashimi go hoho wo tsutatte namida no kawa ni narudake…
> Sadness will run down our cheek, and become a river of tears…
—
yureru omoiwa tsuyoi uzu ni natte tokeaunoyo
> and this trembling feeling will become a strong whirl and melt into each other..

my eyes searches for your face fading in a cloud of mist,
how i blindly search so my hand could grasp yours,
just to feel its warmth,
to draw you near,
to see you clear,
hoping to know that you are there.

sadness paints my world in gloom,
but remembering your smile,
comes a euphoric rush of joy,
a picture of technicolor flushes through my sorrow,
and in a glimpse,
i am once again alive.

how i wish to turn off reality for a moment,
to be with you in wonderland,
to share an everlasting happiness with you,
away from all our troubles,
to a special place just for you and me,
soundly enjoying our love for one another.

you make a lasting imprint on my mind,
never ceasing to show your charismatic glow,
its like everyday you paint a beautiful rainbow,
that you’re the treasure beneath it,
abundant with the golds of love and the diamonds of joy,
i feel that heaven and earth has bound to one,
ever since you, my angel, came into my life.

love has sealed itself in eternal abyss,
like a lonely soul wanders without a body,
forever lost in the limbo of darkness,
not to find a home as a shelter of life.

it has withered like leaves in autumn,
the will to love crumbled to fine dust,
its particles turned one with nothingness,
molds into the space of invisibility…

like a heartless master of a katana,
to slice through life into capsules of death,
like a love given to with commitment and honor,
to be stained only with bleeding confusion,

questions of reflection will be asked,
the mind boils with rage, regrets, ignorance in mixture,
and just ending up serving with answers of "why?",
betrayed by an innocent mask of a so called "love"…

the distance between us,
does not matter for the thread that binds our souls,
forever ties us despite our loneliness,
and like an infinite connection,
as endless as the vast universe.

do not despair,
for life carries on with our memories,
in a suitcase of life,
waiting to fill with all of what heaven offers,
to continue as long as thou heart desires.

Maybe someday our eyes will meet,
lives different and goals fulfilled,
and like that first "hello",
we will pick up where we last left off,
with contentment and happiness in our hearts.

Stories will be left to be told,
our regrets we will confess,
from a decision that was undenieably planned,
a choice that was built on sacrifice,
just as perfectly written in destiny’s plans.